Biking After Theft

Some people are really, really brave.  And really, really dumb.

But this should come as no surprise to me or you, my lovely readers, that people are fucking dumb.  Especially not in my line of work.

A few weeks ago, a guest walked into the building that immediately roused suspicion.  I’d been at the service desk trying to help a guest with something and one of my co-workers had come up, too, and was trying to help.  He lost concentration in what we were doing when he spotted this individual.  I turned to look what he was looking at and knew.  He finished with the guest and myself quickly and got AP on the walkie.

After I went back to piddling around the service desk doing nothing important, I actually forgot about the guy who walked in.  Then, maybe twenty or thirty minutes later, as I was outside the desk rummaging in a cart, I saw him again.  Holding some items in his hands.  He stopped at the cart well by the exit door and looked at me.  We had a stare down for a moment.  I didn’t react or do anything because I knew he was already being watched.  I knew he’d be caught.

Well, the dude just walks out the exit door.  Didn’t even try to hide the shit in his hands, either!  He just walks out.  I walk back behind the service desk just in time to watch our newest AP addition come racing from around the corner and fly out the door.  I didn’t see what happened outside as there’s this thing called a wall between me and the exit doors.

However, he escorts the guy back in and points up to me and says “She can help you right here.”

I smile and begin ringing up his items.  The total was just under $100.  While I’m doing this, he’s humming and talking to himself avoiding eye contact with me completely.  He goes to swipe his debit card.  Upside down.  About five times before he realized he was doing it wrong and fixed it.  He was so nervous, but was trying to act cool and confident at the same time.  It really wasn’t working for him at all.

He leaves with his almost-stolen goods.  I have a good laugh at his expense and so do a few other people.  It was a grand ole time.  We decided that he would probably be back eventually to try to return the items.

The rest of the night goes on without a hitch.  Nothing else interesting happens.

Then, about five minutes to close, I’m standing by a checklane talking to someone when out of the corner of my eye I see a white flash and hear the familiar clicking of a bicycle.

It was him,  he’d come back just a few short hours later.  Riding his bike through the store.  He took off down an aisle.  Immediately I heart my co-worker from before call AP.

How bold can one person be?

He  grabbed something and rode his bike up to the only checklane left open and got in line.  He got off his bike at a request from my supervisor, but there he stood.  Our AP didn’t even try to hide that he was watching him.  He stood at the checklane next to the one he was in and just watched.

Apparently, he forgot something and had to come back to get it.  He paid for his item, but not before leaving dirt and grass all over the check lane, and then making sure he wasted more time by hanging out by our trash and recycling bins.  The store had been closed for at least ten minutes at this point.

What he was really doing, we may never know, I just know that I will never forget him now.  Especially since he had some of the longest dreadlocks I’ve ever seen in the worst half-ponytail in the world.  It was like half of his head aspired to be Snooki’s wig replacement.

Some people just don’t know when to cut their losses.  He got on his bike and left the store.  I haven’t seen him since, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been in.


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